In the Wake of Tragedy, Do You Believe?

We all watched and listened in horror last Friday as the events of the most tragic massacre unfolded in quiet, peaceful Newtown, Ct. One of my friends posted to her Facebook wall that it was ,"proof again there is no 'God' " That post received some flack, some support and a lot of traffic.

After hiding out for week, trying to deal with the steady media stream of a parents worst nightmare, I finally formed a response to her post.

It went like this", I believe as ********** does. God is a concept to appease the masses. The good works we do, the mystery of life, the summer wind. Those are all part of this collective ideal of God. 

Did he send his only son to Earth? Did he flood the planet or create us all, I have no idea. But when the man called Jesus said that God was in everything and everyone, when he told us God would be known by many different names, I believed him. 
Was God there in CT that day? Yes, in the voices of the teachers, on the lips of the worried family and friends. In the eyes of the first responders who witnessed the unbearable. 
I don't know if God is laughing but I know there are some happy, joyous spirits out there in the great beyond who will greet us when we get called home to the Beginning."

I was raised in an Irish Catholic family with clergy for Great Aunts and Uncles. Some of the older generation had strong views, we were all sent to Catholic school. It was part of who we were. In University, I took a World Religion course and formed my own ideas and belief system.

That system came in handy when I heard the news, heard about those poor babies, their teachers who loved them and their families who must carry on. With a shattered heart, I spent any time I could spare to decide how I felt. Did I still believe in a higher power. Yes. Was my soul run over by a truck and dragged 300feet on broken glass? Yes.

Then my amazing cousin posted a quote that she clung to in dealing with the four year anniversary of her mothers passing. It has nothing to do with God and yet, I think this fits perfectly for those ripped from the bosom of the families.

"...In one of the stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing. And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing, when you look at the sky at night...You - only you - will have stars that can laugh." -- The Little Prince"

Thanks my dear cousin for easing my burden and allowing me to be the mother I need to be to my lovely, yet challenging children.

 I will go outside one evening and listen for the laughter, will you?

That holiday spirit

So this is Christmas... And what have you done?

John asked that question years ago and seems he does annually.
How have you tried to improve the world you live in? How has the human spirit thrived through you?

At this time of year we rush to find places to volunteer, donate and support. Ask any charity, this seems to be the best time of year for them, hands down.
But why? Is it because we can't stand to see others not enjoying the sanctity of family, tucked in the bosom of peace and security? We insist every child should have a smile on their faces at this time of year.

I'll tell you why this is. At least in my opinion. This is the time of year we feel the most pressure, socially,morally, spiritually to be the kind of person our moms wanted us to be. Kind, generous, giving almost to a fault. The kind of person we want our children to be. Unafraid of being a little vulnerable, to put a $10 in the charity kettle, buy a few toys for the toy drive at the fire hall, be bold and adopt a family at Christmas, send baked goods to the seniors home. All these selfless acts find their way into being at the end of every year.

The air is thick with them. Why the other night, the news reported a person paying off 18 lay-away accounts at their local Walmart. This stranger bought toys for kids!

Two adorable Secret Santas

This week we are taking our two out to Walmart or toys r us to buy a bunch of toys and leave them in the donation pen at the mall. I hope by showing him (age 6) that its ok to do these things. That it makes us feel good to share a bit of what we have.

"Can you believe how good we feel!??"

So I packed the family up after dinner tonight and headed to the mall. The concept came pretty easily to both my children. We bought boots, hats, and of course toys. If the kids on the receiving end are anything like my brother and I, they won't be too thrilled by the clothing, but their parents will.

There was only two moments of "not happy"; one when DD freaked out that Daddy put some dolls in the cart, "I DON"T WANT THOSE!!" It was resolved by telling her they weren't for her.  The BIG fight over who got to put the bags in the donation pen.
Can you believe it?? They couldn't decide who would be the one to "give".
My heart grew three sizes!

My son even smiled his gappy-toothed grin and asked if we could meet the kids we were buying for, so he could play with them and make friends. What a kid.....

Gifts that won't collect dust

As the gift giving season quickly approaches, I glance around my children's bedrooms and see a lot of wasted money. Sure the toys initially brought them joy. He loved the Crayola book and Lego sets, she went bonkers for the tutus and play purse, but the joy wore off PDQ(pretty darn quick).

 Now, they get scattered around the house and have become the bane of my domestic goddess-ness. Lego and doll clothes EVERYWHERE.

I have friends and family who are in the same boat. Toys-r-Us vomited all over their house and the little ankle-bitters are asking for more. Well, I can't do it. Hubby and I have bought a few gifts, but for friends and family, mostly family as they will understand are getting gifts that do not collect dust. EVER.

I have compiled a list to help inspire me and hopefully you too:

Gift giving for kids is tough. Especially when that kid has a large family.
Cooking classes ie: PC Cooking Classes or Petit Chefs Academy
Tickets to the Toronto Zoo
A session of swimming lessons or gymnastics
A donation to a charity Toronto Hospital for Sick Kids, McMaster Children's Hospital, world wildlife fund, world vision or local food banks.
Movie gift cards

Now the question, is what to get them, what would they enjoy and most importantly, what am I willing to spend!

What non-dust collecting gifts are you contemplating this year? What ones have you gotten that were worth their weight in gold??

Take Time before Time Takes

I wrote this post a few weeks ago, I just dug it out again to tweak.

Took a walk tonight with the kids after dinner. It was spontaneous and I don't think they knew what we were actually doing.

Its' strange that its October and there are still mosquitoes buzzing around, days before Halloween too!  I certainly swatted away my share tonight.

The walk was fabulous, kicking up dry, crunchy leaves and holding hands. My daughter found her share of sticks to start spontaneous sword battles with her brother. After cautioning about eyes and never watching TV again, I stood back. I watched as my tech-hungry kids, became just kids. The smiles and laughter  that sibling bond that is hard to describe and even harder to break.
There was definitely magic in the air.

 It feels like just a short time ago, my son and I were digging for worms in the yard, now at 6.5 he`s too busy riding his bike to friends houses. Soon, my little snugly 2 year old will be obsessively jumping rope and playing in some one else`s yard. My big brother did it, so did I. Will they still be able to truly act their age on a whim? Will they let me bear witness?

I know this post is short and sweet, but so is the time we get to adventure like this with our children.

How to Meet Bieber.

My friend Heather Stewart has this amazing family. Four and a half years ago, her daughter Kathryn was diagnosed with neuroblastoma, a very serious form of juvenile cancer. After a very harrowing road and a lot of prayers and sleepless nights, Kathryn has been cancer free since March 2012. Thanks in HUGE part to the fabulous team at Toronto Sick Kids Hospital, this spunky, bright little girl can get back to having fun with her friends and family.

Kathryn and little bro Geoff this past summer (thanks @JenGPhotog)

This December 1st, Heather is taking Kathryn and her friends to see Justin Bieber. It's going to be a great day of serious girl time. What would make it better is for Kathryn and her friends to have a chance to meet Biebs and his crew pre or post concert. Like any parent she wants the most for her kids. In this case, she is hoping for an extra special day for her 9 year old girl Kathryn .

 On her Facebook page, Heather wrote the following: 




"OK I have a little request which costs nothing but a moment of your time. We have tickets to Justin Bieber on December 1. I have been writing to his record label Universal Music Canada to set up a meet and greet with Kathryn and her three friends and Justin Bieber/Carly Rae Jepson. I am writing to ask if you will write to them to support my request. I would ask that you "like" my comment and "share" and also send a message to Universal Music Canada (on facebook) to ask them to grant this request. Perhaps this pressure will help me get this wish fulfilled for Kathryn and three wonderful young ladies who have been wonderful friends to Kathryn throughout her journey with cancer. Thanks!"

Let me stress that Heather doesn't need tickets, she has them. She just wants Kathryn to have a chance to meet Justin and have a great memory with her girlfriends and mother. I'm sure with enough letters, and gentle "nudges" to Universal Music Canada (email them by clicking here!), we can help make this happen.

Lest We Forget.....

World War 1 ended on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the11th month of 1918. It is observed in the Commonwealth countries since then, inorder to remember and respect the men and women of our armed forces who werekilled in the line of duty. The Treaty of Versailles was actually signed onJune 28th of that year.

In grade 2 or 3, when it was still a school holiday, I camedown the stairs one Nov 11th morning and wished my parents a Happy Remembranceday. I remember being devastated by what my father told me had happened in thewars. Until then, I was so naive, so green.

 As I got older, Ifound myself drawn to my curmudgeon grandfather. Mac was more complex than helet on.  Although he preferred not totalk about it, there were times he'd get nostalgic and I was lucky to be thereto catch him. He  told me stories ofmeeting fighter pilots in  WW2 , of whenthey arrived in Belguim and sadly, of never seeing them again. This must havebeen horrible for him, a young farmer from Dunchurch, Ontario.He told me, after the 4th or 5th failed to return, he stopped trying makefriends. In the midst of such a crazy, scary time, it seemed to me, he waslonely by choice. What an awful fate. No wonder he chose not to revel in thisdark memory.

The total number ofmilitary and civilian casualties in World War I was over 37 million. There were over 16 milliondeaths and 20 million wounded ranking it among the deadliest conflicts in human history. ( Thank you Wikipedia.)

In this deadly conflict, and the ones that followed it intohistory, the greatest victims were children. Innocent of any malice and totallyundeserving of the brutality brought down upon them. Childhoods were robbed.

How do we then teach our children, whom we want to protectwith the  fierceness of a rabid motherbear, about the true meaning of the sacrifices made on those battlefields,homes, and beaches?

I really don't know, but I do my best to tell my son aboutthe men and women he sees in uniform today. I explain that they left home, wentto countries across the sea and lost good friends, in order for their fellowCanadians to be free. I tell him about the elections, the free education andgood health care we enjoy and that not all countries are so lucky.

I just pray he understands.

Until then, this is as good as it gets:

"Soldiers went to fight and die for our country. Somejust went and died so they wouldn't have to listen to their kids anymore."Simon, 6 ~ Nov 1st 2012

Auld Lang Syne

Oh wow, we got it! My fave print shop came through AGAIN!
 I love a good working relationship. Yes, on this rainy Friday, we are feeling super positive.

Without further ado, here is the poster for our fantastic 2nd Annual New Years Family Extravaganza!

I am working with Mad Science to organize some amazing experiments for the kids to work with.
Can't wait to see you there with your little ones as we say good-bye to 2012 and welcome all the amazing possibilities to come in 2013!
Contact me to get tickets! barnilay@gmail.com

Hey, look, it's a Wolf!

This blog isn't about Team Jacob, or Monroe from Grimm. Not even the wolf  in sheep's clothing, although brand names are being accepted.

This blog is about the proverbial wolf. The wolf that turns your sweet, dewy faced, cherubic off-spring into Pinocchio.  Yes, that wolf.

Today my son had to sit alone at his desk while his classmates participated in fun games. He did nothing to deserve this punishment. He cried a little.
My husband was angry at his teachers ridiculous method of punishment. I was irate.

We were going to call the school and request a meeting.
Then Pinocchio told his father he was only joking. His day was just fine, he was able to engage in all kinds of fun times at school.  He even got to take the attendance to the office.
The joyful fruit of my womb is a very accomplished tale teller. 
 He's just 6.5 years old.

Thus began my sons indoctrination into Aesops Fables. Leading with a shouty version of The Boy Who Cried Wolf.
This morning, I scoured the web for information on why kids do this. The lies are exasperating and annoying, yet seemingly a normal step in their development. Does this mean we parents should grin and bear it? Not at all. While a crucial step in social awareness, we are right to call them on it. However please be a little less rage-filled than we were.

Read this article  by Juliette Guilbert of Parenting Magazine . It sure shed some light on what I call the Pinocchio phenomenon.

What whoppers have your darlings told? How did you deal with it?

Driving with Tears in My Eyes

My first car was a four door, it was great because I was in my early 20's. It was so easy, I  could load friends in to go drinking, dancing even shopping. Hopping in for a road trip was borderline epic.

 Oh, those were the days!

  Secretly, when I was alone, I would imagine what it would be like to have a child in the backseat. The whole family fantasy was alive and doing  well in my mind. The giggles and silly songs from the backseat were all I could think about sometimes.

Fast forward to my late 30's. Two kids in the back of my mini-van, singing along to their fave Leap Frog DVD. Pretty close to my fantasy, right? Until the headphones came off, then things got really interesting.

These are some of the things I heard on my drive to visit grandma today :

* DD "there are pop-stars on the road you know. Pop stars POP stars (she tries out the words over and over) to which DS responds "NO, if there were pop stars on the highway, they'd be dead. They'd be extinct"

* "Did you know, that building is a wrestling place, you know how I know? 'Cause there is a W and another W on it. Like that thing on TV. I should go there. I could wrestle."

* "there are so much at the grocery store. Forty dollars, that is how many. That's so many, it's a lot. Forty lot!" Me: What are you talking about?" "I'm not telling you!"

We nearly ended up in a ditch. I was laughing to myself, my tummy hurt. My hands shaking on the wheel. It was precarious, it was hilarious. I concluded that the mind of the under 10 set is classic entertainment and I recommend other parents really take time to enjoy it. Comedy Central couldn't write better stuff than this.

What are some of the weird and wonderful things you've overheard your children say to each other?

Parents Don't Have Super Powers.

Parent's aren't super heroes

I realized that when I was in my twenties, my father was valiantly battling a form of leukemia and my mother was helpless to stop it from destroying his body

From the time I was little I recall a steadfast belief that my parents would live forever. Mom, with her nursing background could cure anything. Dad the athlete the jock was impervious to illness. Leaving all their strength for keeping my older brother and I from harm.

Then that Christmas came.  Dad was diagnosed. A simple phone call. I watched in silence, brooding and deep, as my illusion crumbled. They were just human. Mom couldn't cure this cancer in Dad's blood and bones with a kiss. Her ineffectiveness was clear. It crippled her, it crippled us.

Now my husband has injured his shoulder, damaged rotator cuff. His livelihood dictates that he use his upper body all day. I am powerless to stop his pain.

Are my 2 kids witnessing the death of a long standing childhood myth? He is 6 going on 7, she is not yet 3. How are they interpreting this change in our family rhythm?

Babysitter Blues

After a rather harried week, I decided Hubby and I needed a date. I was up to my eyeballs planning and organizing fabulous events and needed a brain break.  This meant getting our two children their first non-family member sitter.

She is a lovely girl, 12 year old daughter of a very good friend. We spend loads of time together and she is really good with both kids. Besides, it was an afternoon date. What kind of trouble could they really cause, I thought.

OMG. She tried crafts (which 2yo loved), they raked leaves and played outside. Then 6.5yo decided to lock her and 2yo out of the house, he also detonated the craft box like an IED and repeatedly tried to sneak friends in the house!

I felt terrible and that the $25 we paid her was chump change. Then I looked over this web article and am planning to gas up the Delorean to go back and try again.

Don't be the babysitter's bench mark for a crap time, read this:
What You Should Read

Oh Baby, it's a Wild Wild World....

So I am feeling a little hyper today, had a great meeting at the bank, I LOVE learning things.
As I walk out of that fabulous experience, I get an email with this attached :

Holy cow, it's amazing! Thank you Tracy L at Duplicators ! 

So, now the work of waiting begins, see creating the event poster/file is the last step before selling the tickets and I HATE waiting. But this show will be worth it.Thanks to Duane and Mark at Creature Quest in Hamilton  we will be playing host to some adorable little creations. Mini Hedgehogs, bunnies and Chinchillas. Don't worry tough guys, we will have some snakes and lizards there too!

So are you going to buy your ticket today?

What to write....

 Welcome to the official Barnilay Events blog. Where I will do my best to keep you up to date on all the great things I plan and places we get to go.
Let me begin my telling you a little bit about Barnilay itself. The company idea came from my love of planning activities for my children and their friends. Last year I planned a New Years Gala at a local indoor playground for my children and the other families in my mommy playgroup. I sold tickets to re-coup the cost of the rental. It was a blast.

Small sampling of the party-goers on New Years Eve 2011.

My hubby getting in on the puppet  fun!

Immediately I knew I was going to do more things. So I planned a puppet show with Arms Length Puppets from Georgetown. Again I coordinated  food, entertainment and a venue. Another success. Even DH got in on the fun! So here I am a few months later, preparing another amazing New Years Eve Gala and I have a few more things up my sleeves! Stay tuned and get ready for fun!