What Have I Done to My Kids Childhood?

Yesterday I went on my son's grade 2 field trip, to where it didn't really matter. He was thrilled I was on the bus with him. I became a celebrity as soon as arrived at the school. Boarding the bus with other Mom-unteers, we agreed to sing songs as we drove the 35-odd minutes to our destination. That was when I passed the "cool mom" torch.
Mrs. S (another mom on the bus) lead the group of kids in rousing renditions of "The Wheels on the Bus", "There's a Hole in the Bottom of the Sea" and even "QuarterMaster's Store". She received many giggles and loads of eager participation. When I was asked to lend a song, I drew a massive blank!

I saw the confused and lost look on my child's face and was awash with regret. I had failed him. I was a bad mommy and his face was clear, undeniable proof.

When our children were born, DH and I decided they would not be raised on a steady diet of Raffi-High School Musical-Dora&Diego music. If we were going to have to listen ad nauseum to songs in the car, it would be "good" music. To this day, I'd rather get caught humming a Garth Brooks song over "Must Be Santa". It was a great plan, a great thing indeed. Until that fateful bus trip when it all fell apart.

All that I could think of to sing were songs not really ok for other peoples 8 year olds. My son didn't really know the words to QuarterMaster's Store, but he can sing the heck out of Bad Reputation by Joan Jett. In pre-school he knew all the words to The Night That Patty Murphy Died, and some weird part of me was proud. We sang it loudly in the car and I sang " Thunder Road" as a lullaby at night.

Now, my 3 year old demands Joan Jett and Dr. Dre in the car and I oblige. They get excited to hear "Waking Up in Vegas"  and " Royals" by Lorde. I wonder if somehow I have stolen something from them.
Not to know Baby Beluga or Greasy Grimey Gopher Guts is a crime when you are a child. Those songs are part of the silly, sweet innocence of youth and my kids are missing it.
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Too late I tried offerings of silly songs like I think I'm a Bunny, Super Hero, even  Island sounds like Father Goose (Reminisce). They were unimpressed, hopefully, your kids are more responsive.

Listen to Your Heart

Update: my local hospital has replied, disavowing any wrongdoing in this case. I expected as much. I didn't expect to be treated, again, like I didn't matter, was inferior to the learned medical staff and told my feelings were over reactions. 

Also the examining doctor at the local hospital said my girl was sore across her abdomen. How does he know? He never touched her. Someone get me a fire extinguisher for his pants. 

It was a regular October morning for my family. We did regular things, shower, pack lunches and watch a bit of news. Our cleaning lady had come by, she helped me entertain the kids while I nibbled some toast.

Then it stopped being regular, my husband had already left for work and our 2 year old daughter, Shyla, began vomiting  Large amounts for no apparent reason. Great, it's a stomach bug, I thought. Cleaning lady washed her down, while I drove my older son to school. My plan was to return and bring my girl to the walk-in.
I was gone less than 30 min.
"She chucked again while you were gone" Jacqui announced as I came back in the door. I packed up some clothes, a bit of apple juice and my daughter and drove to the local hospital. My town is not large by any stretch, our hospital might be described as a large, health center with extra services.

While the nurses triaged my daughter, she vomited again and began telling me her tummy wasn't happy. I asked to wait on a guerney in the hall, rather than the chairs to give her some room to stretch out.
Serveral hours later, we were still on that bed, my daughter had gone through at least 3 changes of clothes (all the outfits I had brought her) and the cleaning lady had brought me a change of clothes. We still had not seen a physician or a nurse.

My cell phone had terrible service in the hospital, so I ducked out when I could and managed to get my husband to leave work. He came and sat with our girl, while I rushed home to shower the vomit out of various cevices (read: undergarments-mmm comfy!). It was now close to 2pm.  Still no physician, still vomit. It was now green.

We waited a total of 7 hours in that hallway, the head nurse was rude, my daughter was getting sicker. No physician. My husband announced we were leaving. My small victory came when the nurse said she was sorry we felt we needed to leave, to which I replied, "No, you're not. Not at all."

We took our child, who hadn't eaten anything in over 12 hours, to a children's hospital, about 40 minutes away. They were wonderful. They were attentive and we were eventually admitted.

My little girl had an intussusception, this was diagnosed with a painless ultrasound. No wonder her tummy was unhappy. The doctors there treated it with an air enema and we were sent back to our room to be observed for 24hrs. I was relieved to see my child comfortable. Tears sprang to my eyes when she told me her tummy was happy.

With an hour left until we got to go home, Shyla began vomitting. This time her tummy was not happy, she was in serious discomfort. They took us back down for another ultrasound. We were sent for a barium scan. I held my daughter close and told her it would be ok, she looked at me with huge brown eyes and tried to smile. I was terrified.

No sooner had we started the scan, where they made her drink barium and then followed it through her intestines, a nurse called me over behind the glass. I was told surgery was needed and to please read and sign some consent forms. Shyla had an intestinal malrotation, it twisted like a phone cord and pinched off flow.

The nurse, turned out to be her surgeon, and I was informed the OR was being prepped and my baby would be cut open in less than 45 min.  Her condition was that serious. Scalpels, anaethesia, sutures, IV's? She was only 2 year old! I was frantic, thank heavens my husband showed up to hear the doctor explain possible complications, I was only focused on my lethargic, sleepy-eyed little angel.

About an hour later, the surgeon came to tell us everything was good. Shyla was going to be fine. Her intestines were intact, her sutures were going to heal and the only thing removed was her appendix. My husband and I cried happy tears and I curled up on the gurney with my daughter as they rolled us back to our room.

Today, Shyla is a happy, healthy 3.5 year old, but it could have gone so horribly wrong had we listened to our local hospital. They treated it as if we were over re-acting and that it was a stomach bug not really worth their time. We have written the hospital with no satisfactory response, and will continue to advocate for our children's health and well being at every turn.

The point of my story is this :

 We had taken Shyla to the ER the night before the local hospital debacle and were told it was a bladder infection making her miserable. When she vomited, my maternal instincts kicked in and I went to anyone who would listen to tell them she was not fine.

I listened to my heart and fought like mad to get my baby girl help. Left untreated her malrotation or intussusception could have proved fatal. Tissue would have died, she could have gone septic and slipped away.
My one advice to new parents, timid parents, any parent, don't let people tell you it's nothing. If you feel it's something, don't stop until you have proof in your face that it's nothing. This is your job, fight for the little ones who can't yet fight for themselves. Listen when your heart tells you something. It's always right!

It's What For Lunch

It's almost that time of year again. The most wonderful and stressful time of the year for parents.
After a long, seemingly endless summer, the kids are going back to school! (yay!) New clothes, new teachers, old friends, school lunches! (WTF?)

Yes, we have to feed them daily. Something about kids focusing better when they aren't starving, so have you given any thought to what to do so they don't bring home everything you send?

Here are some ideas for you:

Yummy nacho bites, a huge hit in the BE household!

 These yummy snacks can be made ahead of time. Place scoop style nacho chips on a cookie sheet, fill each one with a small spoonful of salsa and a pinch of shredded cheese. Bake in oven until cheese melts. Place in a shallow container once cooled and send with sour cream for dipping. (add bacon bits or a small slice of beef deli meat before baking if desired)

Mini burger buns filled with lunch meat.

Clearly the presentation won't survive the lunchbox trip, but the sandwiches are simple and friendlier looking than a huge hunk of bread. Send with all veg in a separate container. Add a small cup of salad dressing for dipping (ranch or Italian work well)

Use kitchen shears to snip off the pokey bit once food is threaded on!

Buy thicker slices of your child's favourite deli meat, I used ham here. Cut the cucumbers thick as well. Send this to school with a a butter sandwich or gold fish crackers. Add some fruit - berries or apples ( once you cut the apple, use an elastic band to hold the slices together to keep them from browning).

Again, snip the pokey bits after threading

My kids go crazy for these and the photo is pretty easy to figure out. Those bright white things are marshmallows that didn't make it to the campfire this summer. Substitute the grapes for watermelon or use smaller skewers and thread blueberries.


Some other ideas to take you beyond the regular sandwich:

1. Buy a good quality Thermos, warm canned spaghetti, leftover lasagna, stirfry or even oatmeal (add a bit of extra water). Most containers keep food warm (not hot) for 5-7hrs.
2. If your kids like Lunchables, make your own, slice cheddar, pepperoni, send cold chicken fingers or burger pieces. Always include dipping sauce and a few carrot sticks.
3. Make a freeze muffins, thaw the night before for a healthy, homemade snack.
4. Boil and peel an egg, send with buttered bread and baby tomatoes or baby dill pickles.
5. Make your own trail mix. I do. Use any of the following- pumpkin seeds, raisins, Shreddies, Cheerios, mini marshmallows, gummies, smarties, chocolate chips, puffed wheat cereal, dried cranberries, dried mango, banana chips, cheese puffs, GoldFish crackers, pretzels, teddy bear cookies. Every time you make this, it can be different!

Good luck in the coming weeks, I know we will all need it at some point.

My blatant obsession

I was recently cleaning out my 1000+ photos on my phone. 98% were of my children doing things kids do. Swimming, eating, playing make-believe and of course, hamming it up.

However, I noticed about 1/3 of that number is of them sleeping. I mean dead to the world, drool-and- REM- sleep sleeping. 

It doesn't get much cuter than when she crawls into bed with Big Brother.

Sure I check on them before I go to sleep but for some reason I'm always snapping a picture of what I see. 

Could it be I'm not ready for them to grow up?

Fresh air wears them OUT!

I am actually looking forward to sneaking into their rooms tonight. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing my kids when their eyes are open, conscious kids are awesome.

Pool fun last week.

There is just something about watching them be totally vulnerable and  peaceful that gets right to the core of me. At that moment, I want to give them the world if they would stay that way forever.

Just part of being a parent I guess.

Bragging because I can.

My 7 year old took this with our underwater camera this summer. 

I'm jealous of how well he did. Truthfully he lucked into the shot, but it just screams childhood summer fun. 

Don't you agree?

Year End Pool Party

Every year, we try to celebrate the close of another school year for our oldest kiddo. Since we installed a pool 3 years ago, we toss his friends in the yard with some hot dogs.
This year, since the launch of my business, I stepped up to the plate and think I hit it out of the park. Well, I tried, Mother Nature had other ideas!

Thanks to Victoria from Edible Delights, Erin from Collabbey Creations, and Melissa from My Sew Unique for all taking my visions and helping me make this party great!

Tropical garland with balloons "fun"-up the safety fence!

Everyone took one of these home!

Blank versions of the invites made great snack labels!

Yum, a bucket of worms. tee-hee 

Nothing says, "Hello Summer!" like fresh watermelon.

Swim inspired cupcakes made for a delish dessert!

Who invited Mother Nature? Oh well, the party went on, despite cloud bursts.

Now the planning begins for next year!

You know you're a mom.....

My friend posted this question as her Facebook Status and I stole the answers from everyone to share here because they are really very funny.....(I've left out names but you ladies know who you are!-Thanks!)

*The only toast you eat is someone else's cast offs

*You consider the bathroom fan "white noise"

 *You don't care who is in the washroom with you

*You say things like, "we only shoot trees with our guns!"

*You clean up your child's upchuck at the dinner table and then go back and finish eating

 *You consider an evening trip to the grocery store by yourself a "night out

 *You are picking out shoes for a dress, not based on sex appeal, but whether or not you will be able to pick up your kids in them and not kill yourself at the same time!

*You fall asleep at the dentist cause its literally the most relaxed you've been all year ......(not that that happened to me or anything?!)


*You miss major news events because Treehouse doesn't run a ticker

 *You know what it's like to sleep sitting up- in your own house

 *You've had a long awaited girls day of shopping only to blow the budget on cute clothes for your kids.

 *You find yourself swaying back and forth in the line at the bank even tho the kids are at home with dad!

 *Hubby can tell what the kids ate that day based on the stains on your own shirt

 *You go out for a rare date night with hubby, and wind up in the baby section of stores buying for the kids

*You have no shame sticking your face against a baby's bum for a sniff test

*Your grown up dish cupboard is now overflowing with a rainbow of plastic dinnerware

 *You hear teens swearing and you can't help but say "Your mamma would be so upset by this."

*You're so used to pushing a stroller and using the wheelchair automatic door open button at stores, you push that button even when you're by yourself instead of just opening the door

*You're so used to having kids in the back seat, then when you're driving on your own, you have a panic attack thinking you forgot the kids somewhere.

You've never seen a waiter deliver food to your table as you're always walking around the restaurant

*Swear words in songs make you tense up

 *You spend days feeling like you're on a bad date when your kids paw and climb on you

*Sleeping in a king sized bed is a joke, between your hubby and your kids you're lucky to get one sixteenth of the mattress to sleep on

*You can navigate your bedroom in the pitch dark, every time.

And my personal favourite:

* The rare instance when you're driving with only adults, but announce proudly, "Look out my side, COWS!"



What are some of the crazy things you think need to be added to this list?

Those are my kids you're eating

Good family fun (for us parents anyway) at Adventure Aquarium in New Jersey! 

Be Open Minded- they are just kids.......

Over the summer my gappy-toothed little man (6) got to take the big bus to summer camp for 2 weeks! Every morning I would herd my two kiddos into the car and drive over to the pick-up spot. Every afternoon, I`d be there when the bus pulled back in, and every time I got an earful of little boy stories.

" The bus got stuck on train tracks, and the bus driver got scared and ran away, then all us kids got out and saw a train coming, so we pushed the bus over the tracks and the train went by like  whoooooooosh and then I had to drive the bus to camp and it was hard to reach the pedals and I went off a cliff and the bus rolled and there were trees crashing us and the kids were like AH OH NO AHHHHHH, but we made it to camp alright."

That was the type of response I got to " How was your day? Did you have fun?"
HOLY COW. 

Fact of the matter is kids have fantastic imaginations, better than most Hollywood movies and certainly more exciting than the lives you and I lead. The problem here is, how do we deal with it? His stories were so fantastical that  I knew within seconds they were flights of fancy, but how long do we indulge them?

I have had to slowly, gently lay down some reality for him. " Oh, I am sure you must have been happy to be on the bus, but I don't think you really drove it!"

I have decided to ride these flights of fancy with my children as best I can while I have the opportunity. 7 turns into 17 and 3 becomes 23 faster than most parents want to admit.

Besides, super powers are only cool when you're under 10!

My Child is a Pig. A Cute Pig, but a Pig.

So earlier this week, I posted a plea in one of my Facebook Mommy groups. I was lamenting the horrid table manner of my now 7 year old. They are down right repulsive. He chews with his mouth open, he licks his fingers and slurps foods I didn't know could be slurped. He's a total marvel that would have a manners expert running for the hills.
I don't want him perfect, that would be creepy and Stepford-ish. I just want him to be less gross.

My fellow mommies came to my aid with virtual margaritas and anecdotal Asprin.

" I'm very relaxed, " one woman wrote, " My son is gross too. My husband (38)  is also gross. It's a boy thing" she said.
 I want to believe her. I have a short fuse, I admit it. But who wouldn't around someone who eats salad with their fingers!

Another woman offered to seat him next to her son and mine would come out roses! Mind you her son has "underdeveloped facial/tongue muscles and fine motor skill issues".
Sorry, that didn't make me feel as better as you'd have hoped.
My son is right on target if not exceeding.  He's just lazy, I say!

This boy of mine won't use a napkin while eating chicken wings or pizza. He doesn't wipe them on his shirt. The dear little handsome boy, lick his palms! YUCK!

In short, I still have to remind my son to use his napkin, chew with his mouth closed and eat over his plate. I just hope I am not doing that when he's 20!

Adventures in Parenting

During dinner one evening, SevenYearOld begins the age old childhood habit of flipping his eyelids. Darling husband promptly scolds him and goes back to eating.
SevenYearOld does it again. I utter a PG expletive (something like fudgepicker or ShipShape).
Darling husband begins to explain the dreaded, horrifying dangers of eyelid flipping.


The conversation goes something like this:
DH-"You know that's really dangerous! Your eye could fall right out. "
SYO- " Really?"
DH- "yup, happened to somebody that I used to know" (DO NOT START SINGING)
SYO- "what was his name?"
DH- " Jeff Healy "

WTH???


SYO- " did it hurt?"
DH- "sure did! His eye fell out. Just hung there, all dangly like. (Kids like gore) It was so damaged, the doctors couldn't make it work! "
SYO- "So what did he do?"
DH- "Well he couldn't get a job, so you know that book mommy reads you? The one about Stinkyface? It's about him. That's how he gets money"

SYO - (still totally buyin it, even though, I'm dying of laughter inside, wiping a year from my eye) that's really about him?"

DH- " sure. That part where it says ,' and she said I love you and sang to him until his one droopy eyelid finally closed" that's about Jeff and his one eye that worked "

I could hardly hold it together! The boy was in hook line and sinker.

Now he's in the basement playing with his sister. "That's not how you fly a jet, lady!"

Good heavens, what am I going to do with them?

Last Night at Bedtime....

I was tucking my sweet little Shyla into bed, she reaches across the bed and grabs up the above pictured stuffed animal. Pulling it to her lips, she exclaims," I love you puppy. " and lays about 30 kisses on his face followed by a super tight squeeze. If he was real, he'd be dead.

"Um, isn't that a bunny Shyla?" says Stupid Mom (me).

"Mommy," gone is all her cuteness and sweet innocence, replaced with mature well tempered sympathy for my lack of IQ," do bunnies have ears like this? NO!"

Stupid Mom is stunned into silence momentarily" Shyla, it's a BUN-NY!"

"Stop that Mommy. You're wrong" Says Worldly Three year old.," It says PUPPY on his tag"
(When did she learn to read?)

"Ok, it's a puppy, what's his name Shyla?" 

After looking him in the eye, "Bunny Christophe"

Birthday Parties : 3 Ways

      So I am on the home stretch of planning my son's 7th birthday! He's 7 already, that long fingered , big eyed bundle of joy I brought home all those moons ago is almost 7. In the midst of all this planning, I have begun to reflect on how the birthday party has evolved for us.

      Simon's 1st birthday was a gong-show. I mean, who do you invite? Where do you host it? The answer, if you're a new parent it EVERYONE and at your house, respectively. I mean, 12mths of playdates, playgroups and meetings at the park garner a 1 year old a boat load of besties and they all should be at the celebration.

      In reality, the 1st birthday is for the parents. That's right, I said it. The parents. They survived the 12 months of chaos after bringing home their non-refundable drooling, pooping, and torturous forced insomnia. They have been peed on, head butted and have left the remote control in the refrigerator more times than they care to admit. Hockey games were missed, a good glass of wine a distant memory, nursery rhymes have replaced knowledge of Microsoft Excel in their brains.

       You have learned what valves go into what sippy cups, what diapers can contain the foulest smells and you can fold down that stroller like an Olympian! Parents give up a whole heck of a lot and while everyone is happy that baby is one year old, they are truly celebrating the fact that no one gave up.

       Who do you invite to such a auspicious occasion? Every relative, friend, drinking buddy, crafting pal, you have ever had the pleasure of looking at. That lady at the gym who wiped down the elliptical, the waiter who said your sleeping child was adorable, they get to come have cake too! Don't laugh, you seasoned parents out there have done this and more.


The subsequent birthdays are for the parents too, in a way. What better way to check out and regulate the friends your child has. My son's most recent birthdays involved having the parents stay so we could meet and vett the parents. I let him pick the invitees, but if I didn't like them, they never came back.
 
      Of course, some folks might argue this is a toy grab for junior and it is. All those crazy, trendy toys that you have been harassed about, are now potentially being bought by someone else. Sure it's pricey feeding 10 kids pizza, cake and juice pops. Cleaning up after them is a disaster too, betcha didn't know that a Kool-Aid can spray that far up the wall with little effort! Yet at the end of the day, as you tuck in little Suzy or Ryan, you get regaled with stories of " ...the best time ever...I laughed so much....you're the best..."


     Finally, if you've done the parenting thing right, you have become a totally uncool entity in your child's eyes. Your goofy impression of Bill Clinton, humiliating, that great head band you bought at a yard sale, shameful and don't get them started on the baby photos you have hung on every available surface in your home. This is when you can host that very last party. This one, like the first is more for you than for the child. You can now drink a glass of wine or six on a school night, you don't have to drive anyone to swim practice or pack any lunches. So invite your friends, let the kids duck out early and you can head to bed at 9pm.
They will love you for it.
   

So whatever stage you're at with your child is at, whatever stage you are at with your party hosting, let Barnilay help you make it no-stress day. Give us your budget, your theme and let the good times roll!