Monday 8 April 2013

Adventures in Parenting



During dinner one evening, SevenYearOld begins the age old childhood habit of flipping his eyelids. Darling husband promptly scolds him and goes back to eating.
SevenYearOld does it again. I utter a PG expletive (something like fudgepicker or ShipShape).
Darling husband begins to explain the dreaded, horrifying dangers of eyelid flipping.


The conversation goes something like this:
DH-"You know that's really dangerous! Your eye could fall right out. "
SYO- " Really?"
DH- "yup, happened to somebody that I used to know" (DO NOT START SINGING)
SYO- "what was his name?"
DH- " Jeff Healy "

WTH???


SYO- " did it hurt?"
DH- "sure did! His eye fell out. Just hung there, all dangly like. (Kids like gore) It was so damaged, the doctors couldn't make it work! "
SYO- "So what did he do?"
DH- "Well he couldn't get a job, so you know that book mommy reads you? The one about Stinkyface? It's about him. That's how he gets money"

SYO - (still totally buyin it, even though, I'm dying of laughter inside, wiping a year from my eye) that's really about him?"

DH- " sure. That part where it says ,' and she said I love you and sang to him until his one droopy eyelid finally closed" that's about Jeff and his one eye that worked "

I could hardly hold it together! The boy was in hook line and sinker.

Now he's in the basement playing with his sister. "That's not how you fly a jet, lady!"

Good heavens, what am I going to do with them?

Sunday 7 April 2013

Last Night at Bedtime....

I was tucking my sweet little Shyla into bed, she reaches across the bed and grabs up the above pictured stuffed animal. Pulling it to her lips, she exclaims," I love you puppy. " and lays about 30 kisses on his face followed by a super tight squeeze. If he was real, he'd be dead.

"Um, isn't that a bunny Shyla?" says Stupid Mom (me).

"Mommy," gone is all her cuteness and sweet innocence, replaced with mature well tempered sympathy for my lack of IQ," do bunnies have ears like this? NO!"

Stupid Mom is stunned into silence momentarily" Shyla, it's a BUN-NY!"

"Stop that Mommy. You're wrong" Says Worldly Three year old.," It says PUPPY on his tag"
(When did she learn to read?)

"Ok, it's a puppy, what's his name Shyla?" 

After looking him in the eye, "Bunny Christophe"