Fitting In When You Feel Different

I dropped my son off at school the other day and encountered a woman I have met only in passing. We are polite and friendly, so I smiled and asked how she was doing. She told me her day was going to be rough because someone was giving her daughter a hard time in class.
While I know kids are being bullied, it's in the news a lot these days, I was shocked. Her daughter looks very well put together, friendly, outgoing and from what I know, smart. The only reason someone would pick on her, I figure, is because she's mixed race. Like my children.
I encouraged this woman to listen close to her momma-bear instincts and take care of her child. When I climbed into my car, I began reflecting on how miserable my miserable days in elementary school were.

I grew up in small town Ontario, my parents were white. They adopted me, a little Jamaican girl, in infancy. I never knew any different and that was just the way it should be. By the time I got to grade school, I was to face a brutal onslaught of bullying and misdirected racism. (The kid most responsible for my depression was half black himself). Kids made fun of me and made me feel less than I was daily.

Amanda and Stephanie, two pretty Italian girls in my class were perfect. I wanted to be like them. Smart, with pretty hair and nice clothes. They knew the right answers and had beautiful printing. I was a stuttering, sloppy handed girl with frizzy hair. Polar opposite.

These days, Dove has a great campaign to bring awareness to the fact that girls are under more pressure than ever to fit in, be smart, be good, be pretty.

Now I am the mother of a 8yo girl who has thick tight curls, creamy brown skin and thinks she's a fashionista. I see the pressure she is under and have done my best to instill pride and confidence in her. We watched The Greatest Showman the other night, and Keala Settle's song, "This is Me" along with Rachel Platten's "Fight Song" will be our anthem as we navigate the coming years. I will use this for my son as well, as the tween/teen years are no small feat.

I sincerely hope the mom I encountered on that morning can do the same for her little girl.